Home
>
Separation and Divorce: A Guide for Kids

Separation and Divorce: A Guide for Kids

Separation is when two people living together decide that they shouldn’t live together anymore. Usually, one person will move out of the home.

Divorce is when two people who were married decide that they do not want to be married anymore.

The decision to separate or get a divorce is an adult decision made by your parents. It is not your fault. Your parents may be separating or divorcing, but that doesn’t mean they are divorcing you. Your parents are your parents forever.

You are not alone. Lots of kids go through the same thing you are going through now. They got through it, and you can too.

Your Rights and Responsibilities

Understand what is going on
Ask questions
Express your feelings
Don’t take sides
Feel safe
Feel loved

Your Parents’ Responsibilities

Help you understand the divorce
Let you spend time with both parents and extended family (if safe to do so)
Not say bad things about the other parent
Not ask you to take sides
Listen to you
Take care of you

What you need to remember

Your family isn’t breaking up, it is just changing
Both your parents love you
The divorce is not your fault

Who can I contact if I need help?

Kids Help Phone

You can call their toll free number anytime to talk to an adult you can trust. Kids Help Phone is anonymous, that means they don’t know your name, and you don’t have to tell them if you don’t want to.
1-800-668-6868
www.kidshelpphone.ca

Office of the Child and Youth Advocate

This group stands up for the rights of young people.
Phone: 709-753-3888
Toll Free: 1-877-753-3888

Public Legal Information Association of NL

This is a group in Newfoundland and Labrador who give out information about the law. PLIAN has information they hand out and they also do presentations.
Phone: 709-722-2643
Toll Free: 1-888-660-7788
info@publiclegalinfo.com

Police

A police officer’s job is to help people during an emergency, to stop people from breaking the law and to catch people who break the law. The ONLY reason to call the police is if there is a REAL emergency, like if someone is hurting you. If you need to speak to a police officer, you should go to an adult you trust, like a parent, teacher, or other family member and tell them. The telephone number for the police can normally be found in the first few pages of the telephone book.

Why does it happen?
Getting a divorce is very serious. Parents only get a divorce when they can’t work out their problems. No matter what the parents argue about, the divorce is NEVER about the kids.
How it affects you?
When parents divorce they will live in different homes. Sometimes this means that you have to move or that you will have two homes. It might be a little hard getting used to living with two parents at two different places.
Here are some tips to help make it easier:
- You should get two of the things that you use everyday, like a toothbrush, hairbrush, some clothes. That way you can leave some things at one house and some things at the other.
- Take a couple of your favorite things back and forth with you so you always have something special.
- Ask your parents to tell you when you are staying at each home so you can be prepared and know what’s going on.
Parents’ new friends
Sometimes one or both of your parents will meet a new special friend who they will spend time with. Your parent may also want you to meet their new friend. The new friend is there because your parent likes them. Sometimes it can be hard to think of a new person that might be joining your family. The person isn’t there to replace your other parent.
Here are some tips to help you deal with your parent’s new friend:
- Do NOT be mean to them: Sometimes kids think if they are mean to the new friend they will just go away. This is NOT true.
- Talk about it: Go to your parent who has the new friend and talk about it. You can tell them how the situation makes you feel, what you like about the person, what you don’t like about the person, and even what the parent can do to make things easier.
- Try to be friends with them: You may be having all sorts of feelings like jealousy, anger or sadness. Just remember the person is making your parent happy, so you should try and get along with them… you may even really like them when you get to know them.

Who can I contact if I need help?

Kids Help Phone
You can call their toll free number anytime to talk to an adult you can trust. Kids Help Phone is anonymous, that means they don’t know your name, and you don’t have to tell them if you don’t want to.
tf. 1-800-668-6868
Office of the Child and Youth Advocate
This group stands up for the rights of young people.
tel. 709-753-3888
tf. 1-877-753-3888
Public Legal Information Association of NL
This is a group in Newfoundland and Labrador who give out information about the law. PLIAN has information they hand out and they also do presentations.
Suite 301, 140 Water Street (TD Building)
St. John’s, NL A1C 1A8
Canada

*Accessible entrance at Water Street
tel. 709-722-2643
tf. 1-888-660-7788
Police
A police officer’s job is to help people during an emergency, to stop people from breaking the law and to catch people who break the law. The ONLY reason to call the police is if there is a REAL emergency, like if someone is hurting you. If you need to speak to a police officer, you should go to an adult you trust, like a parent, teacher, or other family member and tell them. The telephone number for the police can normally be found in the first few pages of the telephone book.